Breathe in...Breathe out...

I think I need blog just to process my feelings a bit...

March has kinda been a month from hell... with all sorts of losses (like my favorite teacher getting transferred to another school and some of my students graduating and other friends moving out of the city).

And then my beloved Japan gets hit my a earthquake, tsunami, and is now getting radiated...

And I'm in the middle of trying to help the situation, and am so thankful for getting to help! But have had a ton of responsibility thrown at me, which I am not quite sure I can handle... for example, I am only working with CRASH two more days, and I have been asked to assess and analyze what holes we have in our current way of operating and try to figure out solutions before I go... I guess the guy in charge of our department thinks I'm capable and need to do it before I leave... I think I'm 23 and clueless... but I'll take a stab at it! Please pray that God would give me wisdom and endurance. The office situation has been quite stressful the last few days as we are moving forward; feels kind of like building this organization from the ground up -- given the magnitude of the situation, and there are so many unknowns and so much information to try to process... BUT two of the teams I've gotten to have a part in sending out are leaving tomorrow morning, so that is exciting! The whole thing is feeling a bit overwhelming though. The need is so great...so its scary for me because I feel like if I mess something up it has real consequences on peoples' lives... PRESSURE! AGGHH!!! I'm so willing to keep working tho, its just scary.

I took the day off today, went to church, met up with some friends, took a walk in the park... It was really strange experiencing normal life a bit after so much focus has been on the disaster. There were kids playing soccer in the park. Shibuya (downtown Tokyo) was as bustling as ever. The sun was shining, the plum trees are blossoming. It was really nice to remember that in some places, life is still pretty normal... but in Tohoku, everything is anything but normal... So as my heart craves a bit of normalcy and stability for myself, my heart craves it for Tohoku as well...

Its easy to ask why this happened. Some people are saying its God's judgement on Japan... I think they're morons. Luke 9, a village rejects Jesus, and Jesus' disciples want to call down fire to destroy the city, and Jesus rebukes them... Jesus declares that if we have seen him, we have seen the father. Our Lord Jesus, full of compassion, mercy, grace and love... How much his heart must break for the suffering in Tohoku!!! I'm not saying there will never be judgement, Jesus makes it very clear that there will be on the last day, but I'm pretty sure that is not what is happening now.

I've been spending a lot of time in Romans 8 this past month... read through it if you have time. It makes it so clear that famine, and disaster, and persecution and the like are clearly part of our lives, but we should not despair, because nothing can separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus. How do we know that God loves us? Because of Jesus. Because of the cross. How do we know that God loves Tohoku? Because of Jesus. Because of the cross. Also, Romans 8 tell of how creation itself is waiting for redemption, because it has been taken down with the fall of man as well.... Redemption--freedom from the bondage to decay... freedom from earthquakes, tsunamis, and even nuclear radiation!

So that's where I am at right now... watching my heart quake a bit as Japan is quaking. But my God is faithful!!!!!

BUT it is almost spring. Spring is a time of new beginnings in Japan. Time for the cherry blossoms to bloom. Time for the new school year to start. Time for chapter two of my life in Japan. Time for a new season for Japan.

Keep praying for those in Tohoku!!!!! I feel pretty selfish even writing this blog, cause it sounds like I am asking for pity, as I am sitting in a warm room in a friends house on a full stomach, and am about to go take a warm bath... And even if I was sitting in mud with my house washed away by a tsunami, I really have everything because I have Jesus. Pray for Tohoku.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation (tsunamis and earthquakes included!!), will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Rom. 8:38-39

PS. Here is the link to a video the friends I went to Ishinomaki with made.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZSD9y4grZ0&sns=fb